I'm back and I thought I'd share some new insights.
It's been years since I've written anything here and I have some new thoughts.
My latest is my inspiration for a book I'm in pre-production for.
Enjoy "A Grain Of Sand":
A Grain Of Sand
In my understanding, I have realized through the years that I am on a Spiritual Path of Enlightenment. It has been an awesome ride, which continues to get better and better as the years go by.
Well, if you don’t mind I would like to share a vision I had when I was younger. It happened in a dream one night…
At the time of the vision I was beginning to feel like I understood almost everything there was to know about the Spirit World. I could tell you with absolute certainty (or so I thought), the inner workings. You know, the reasons why Life happens. I felt I could be able to explain away why we see ghosts, Spirit Guides (and their interactions), where Creator is in all of this, etc. etc.
Or so I thought…
Then one night, I had my vision. (A dream that feels so real that you could swear you are there. This is because you are.)
The dream (which I will refer to as my “vision”) happened on a sandy beach.
On this beach, the sand was smooth and oh, so soft to the touch. The waves were gentle and the clouds were few and far between. It was a perfect day.
I was there standing close to the edge, where the water was barely washing over my feet when I started to realize that there was someone standing next to me.
I couldn't see him, but I knew he was there.
It was one of my Spirit Guides. (To this day I can’t be sure which one, but I believe it was Djwal Khul.)
Djwal Khul is my main Spirit Guide.
We enjoyed the sandy beach and the calm ocean together. The silence was so peaceful.
Then he turned to me and picked up a grain of sand and as he showed me the grain, he said, “Mark. This grain of sand is all you know, and this is all you will ever know!”
He then put it down very carefully, back where he found it.
Wow....
I felt crushed. I mean, I thought I knew everything. Man, my ego was jolted.
I woke up.
Devastated that I just learned I knew absolutely practically nothing. Despite the fact that I had accumulated all of this acquired knowledge.
But then I started to think about the lesson...
In the coming days, weeks and months I replayed that vision in my mind, over and over again. Each time I started to learn something new about myself.
I believe now I can write about it and be able to share this most precious gift.
This is what I have learned, and keep learning...
This grain of sand is me.
I could never learn anymore than that because of the vastness of the Creator. (Represented in the sandy beach and ocean.)
And why would I want to.
But here is where it gets good.
Each grain of sand is all of us. If you look at a single grain you will see the somewhat rough edges and imperfections.
These “imperfections” I have come to learn are the things that have kept driving me forward in an attempt to smooth out those “edges”.
Perfection... What does that mean?
Well for me it meant doing not just the best I can but having it done without any mistakes. From my ego’s perspective, I thought that if I did everything perfectly, then I would reach enlightenment.
If I made an error, which happened all the time (still does, of course) then I was really hard on myself. The phrase “Stupid me” would be touted around in my head, sometimes for days.
I have since come to realize that it’s okay to make the miscalculations. In fact, it is what helps to show our uniqueness. In addition, the path to Enlightenment is found in other ways.
More over this is not what the Creator sees. Because in the Divine’s eyes we are already perfect. We just can’t see it.
When you put all of us together, you can feel the flawlessness. The smooth, soft warm sensation as each grain of sand flows through your toes.
It also shows that there is no way we could ever learn anymore than a grain of sand. It becomes impossible, no matter how much we know.
Plus, the grain is unequaled. No one grain of sand is the same. Everyone is different. The same can be said about us.
The lesson also continues to teach me about being humble. (In the spiritual sense.)
For me, I am learning this lesson on two fronts. First, is the release of the ego mind. Learning simply not to become caught up in the fear of it all. Instead I am learning to become detached. This allows me to accept situations at face value better.
Letting go of the fears of the ego has become and is a life-long goal of mine.
The second is understanding that the more I view myself as the grain of sand. The smaller I realize I am, the larger my awareness becomes. In fact, my consciousness is expanding more and more, because of this very concept.
Recently the lesson of “Control” is very present in my life. I am learning to accept everything and everyone around me more and more each day. Even though I can tell you that it is a big challenge. (Coming from years as someone who has found leadership in some form for most of my professional life.)
In fact, so much so, I didn't even realize how wrapped up in the Ego of “Control”, I really was.
Not until I started to notice it come up! And it arrived not with a whimper, but more like a BANG!
As I write this I have to wonder about this little grain of sand that I am. I find myself asking, ‘How much “Control” do I really think I have, if I am only but a grain of sand?’
Indeed, what if I learned to let go of “Control”? Would I be able to connect with the rest of the sandy beach?
What other ego elements do I have to release?
In my understanding the “Ego” is all sourced, ultimately from fear. Or better put: ‘It is the “Human” side of us.’
We are of two bodies, as I have come to realize. One of the Human kind and the other of the Spirit kind.
The Human side of us is a limiting body that helps us to acquire the lessons we come here to experience and learn.
The Spirit body is the eternal being that has lived for a very long time and will continue to do so. Which also is connected, directly to the Creator. Over there, we can feel love not expressed as an emotion, but as a Force.
Rather like the forces of nature are to us in human form, the Force of Love is to our Spiritual Selves. It is inescapable. And one which we, in fact, accept. It is a knowing that goes beyond belief, or faith. It just is.
I guess the best way to wrap up this is the perception that the smaller I realize I am, the larger my consciousness becomes. It is the very opposite of what my ego believes.
How strange to think that something so small can be so large.
Maybe its okay to be the grain of sand after all.
